Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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