So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize