I can tuck mytits in my pants
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
