he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
