Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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