Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
