Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
