anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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