I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My feet surprised me
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
