soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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