Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
