i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
