I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
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