No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The police scanner is talking about you again....
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize