I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
