Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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