I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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