I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
