she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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