I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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