Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
