My friends, they love my intelligence
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize