I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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