I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
