Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Damn victory sex feels great
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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