I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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