check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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