so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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