Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
