I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize