How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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