Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
