I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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