his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
