lets start a swedish sibling band together
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
wow bdsm is so cute
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
