I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize