For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
handjob tips. give me some.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
