dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
