omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
