Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
