She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
