I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize