I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
God, I missed his penis.
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