I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I miss vodka workout Fridays
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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