like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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