About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Randomize
