is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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