did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
