what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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