hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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