hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
40s are totally the cure
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
