she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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