D3 body, D1 cock
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize