Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
