Quick, to the slutcave!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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