I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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