Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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