i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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