Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
this hospital has no fireball
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
