I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
