Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize