chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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