ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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