Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
