I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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