Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
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