discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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