i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
